Tag Archives: funnyblood

Space Adventures #4: The Distress Signal

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Funny Blood Presents: The Great Hasini

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“The Man and The Fish”, A Parable from The Book of Dega

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The Jungle Rubee

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The Jungle Rubee

by Caleb Mason

It was a hot and humid night in New York City. Ace McNamara just got home from a hard days work. He hung up his hat and took off his coat. He sat down at his desk and had a cigar. Somebody knocked at the door, “Knock, Knock.” He opened the door and saw the most beautiful thing on four legs. A Dalmatian was just sitting there, “Arf!” Luckily, Ace knew how to speak dog. The dog wanted Ace to help him find the Jungle Rubee. The dog needed it because his family was perishing and the Rubee gave great power. The Rubee is located in Australia! So they rented a plane and were off to Australia. First they went over the Atlantic Ocean. In the distance they saw some jets. What they really saw were spy jets from NASA! They started to shoot at them. In the glove compartment of the plane were laughing gas bombs. Ace got the bombs out. He threw one at the jet, “BAM! Ha, Ha, Ha!” They proceeded with their quest. After awhile the plane ran out of gas! “Arf, Bow Wow!” That meant parachutes. There were no parachutes! They landed in a tree. When they got out of the tree they saw a sign that said AFRICA…

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Polly

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A-Whack-Dack Doodley-Ay! #3

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Funny Blood Presents: Saturday Night!

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Funny Blood Presents: Austin Powers in “Dangerous Liaisons”

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My Stool Rules

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The Miracle Man

The Miracle Man
J. Arthur Goodwin

Preface: The Essence of a Miracle

What is a miracle? Once I saw two Indians whispering to each other in front of a campfire and I thought, “This could be a miracle.” But then on the train ride back to Santa Fe I knew in my heart that it was not. I was sad, so to cheer myself up I ate salted peanuts and made small talk with the woman sitting next to me. She let me use some of her hand lotion and for a split second I thought that I might be a homosexual.

The Miracle Man

Hannah Colarusso was in the middle of taking a bath when the telephone rang. It sounded like a legendary dragon climbing on the rocks. Hannah rose from the tub and stood there, silent and strong, like a black man’s clenched fist at a freedom rally. Hannah did not want to answer the phone. She wouldn’t answer the phone. Scholars would later argue that she couldn’t answer the phone. Little did Hannah know that it was her husband calling for her. He wanted to tell her that he had to stay late at the office and that he would not be able to attend the gala. The gala, which was being held at the old armory downtown, was being thrown to celebrate a blind man who inexplicably regained his vision. They called him the Miracle Man.

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